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Most people fall into two very distinct groups when it comes to how we feel about Valentines Day; we either delight in the chance to celebrate partners and be doted on by loved ones, or we’re annoyed by the pressure to buy expensive gifts and by the commercialism of the whole holiday. Love it or hate it, I think Valentine’s day is the perfect time of year to prioritize someone in your life who deserves a bold demonstration of love: yourself. The most important aspect of self care is to personalize what you choose to do in a way that makes sense for you. What you find restorative within the pillars of self care may not be the same as myself, or someone else. For example, most people love lighting candles as a way to relax and unwind, and they’re often part of self care rituals seen on social media. Yet, a friend of mine has acknowledged that candles stress her out - remembering to blow them out, being paranoid about the flame catching anything nearby, the thought of the candle running out - all distract from any attempt at self care! Below are some practical tips to help you find what works for you. Gratitude Practicing gratitude is a great, affordable (free!), and easy thing to do that encourages a positive mindset.
Meditation and Mindfulness Taking a moment to be still with ourselves is a rewarding break from the stresses of life. How much time are we actually making to only be with ourselves; not thinking of anything or anyone else in our day? Not only is meditation a great form of perspective building for our busy schedule. By perspective building, I mean the ability to take a step back and look objectively at what is going on. Sometimes we are too close to the issues or events of our life and we need to mindfully step back and look at things with less emotion and attachment. Practical ways to incorporate meditation and mindfulness into your life include:
Again, find what works for you, and feel OK about taking time that is devoted just to you, valentine! Self compassion Self compassion starts with examining our internal monologue, or way in which we speak to ourselves. Kristin Neff, the lead researcher behind this movement in psychology, points out that we often speak to ourselves in a much more negative way than we would ever speak to a friend.(2) Changing this internal dialogue, can be challenging for a variety of reason. First off, it can be hard to take a step back and recognize we are doing it. When beating ourselves up with negative phrases becomes a habit we don’t even notice, it can be hard to kick. Here are some steps how to build greater self compassion:
If you are struggling with wanting to improve your self talk, I recommend working with a team of practitioners you can trust and who you form a good relationship with, including your MD, therapist, or someone in naturopathic medicine (learn more on how to book with us at the end of this article!). Give your physical heart some love There are endless benefits for both mood and health to exercise! Often exercise gets a bad rap as something we have to do, instead of something we get to do. Forget traditional methods of exercising if they don’t jive with you and go off of this: exercise can be any fun way we elevate our heart rate.
Serve up some love The ultimate form of self love for your insides is a well balanced meal. Healthy food can be easy to make, and taste great. Start with small, gradual changes by identifying the meal of the day that has the opportunity for the most improvement, and work on modifying that (replace the morning croissant with a healthy breakfast, and go from there). Some general recommendations to get you started include:
If this feels overwhelming to do alone - ask for help (see our booking information at the end of this blog). Nobody became a health expert or chef overnight. It takes time, practice, advice, and at least a few bad smoothies to figure it out. Laughter really is the best medicine Are you having enough fun? Laughter and joy are an important part of life, and a great way to show yourself love.
Tune in to what YOU need “One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.”- bell hooks (I’m a huge fan of her book, All About Love). Think about how you envision caring of others in your life - is it a thoughtful gift? Then gift yourself something and really savour and enjoy it! Is it to hearing validation and kind words? Then repeat to yourself a kind phrase you might say to someone else, or record a voice note of a positive affirmation. If it’s physical hug, really tune into the next good hug that comes up. Take note of what makes you feel loved and then create more of it! Doing something hard, but necessary One trend in the self care movement I really enjoy is the art I found by @makedaisychains on Instagram that focuses on what she calls “boring self care”. It’s often touted as small actions that aren’t glamourous, but that depending on the person and their situation, can be challenging to do. I love the fact that these illustrations celebrate small accomplishments (booking a doctors appointment you’ve been avoiding, refilling your medications, cutting ties with someone who is causing you pain). Dedicate the necessary time and energy to tackle your to do list. Ask for help Finally, being a beginner in any of these areas is not something to be ashamed of or feel overwhelmed by. We are all beginners at something at some time in our lives. Asking for help in any area of your life is a natural thing, and we weren’t meant to do things alone. This is why we have family, community, and even people who study different things to gain different expertise! If you are looking for more help in implementing aspects of self-care into your lifestyle, or if you would like to discuss any other health concerns please book an appointment with some of our wonderful interns on our Tuesday night shift at the Robert Schad Naturopathic Clinic by calling this number: (416) 639-2459 The idea of celebrating when we do something hard but necessary can relate to many of the different ways to practice self care listed in this article (exercise, meditation, healthy cooking, changing habits). Taking actionable steps towards improving the way we treat our self is not always easy, but it is necessary. These steps, even when “small” and “boring” are something to be celebrated! We are all on different paths on this journey, and the aspects that are most challenging will look different for all of us. I hope this serves as a starting point to find practices you can add to your life that make you feel loved and appreciated, and remember: making these habits a part of your routine and caring for yourself is the ultimate act of self love. Happy Valentines Day! Love, Madeleine References
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August 2021
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