I recently held a workshop at my clinic and my local library to chat about the top habits that can promote good health (and thanks to all of you who responded to my survey!). None of this is rocket science, but these behaviours go a really long way to keeping everyone in your family at their best. It can be tricky sometimes to stay on top of making good lifestyle choices; for each of these habits, I encourage you to consider if you're doing well, or if you could use some work. Consider how motivated you are to make a change - even a small one. What's in your way? How could you overcome whatever obstacles are preventing you from being at your best? Start small - make one small, tangible and measurable change for the better and see how it feels! Enjoy!
1. Eat more fruits and veggies
Increasing fruits, vegetables and other plant-based foods increases fiber (critical for good digestive function), improves satiety (helpful for moderate caloric intake), increases anti-oxidants (necessary to reduce cell damage and aging), and offsets the consumption of less healthy options. Aim for at least 7 servings of brightly-coloured fruits and veggies daily!
2. Drink more water (or herbal tea)
Minor dehydration leads to sluggishness, brain fog, constipation and irritability. Drinking more water (coffee, juice, pop and alcohol don’t count) boosts cognitive and physical performance, clears the mind, elevates energy, promotes detoxification and helps maintain a healthy weight. Try keeping a refillable water bottle with you that you aim to drain at least twice per day. Check out my recent post on the subject for more inspiration!
3. Get outside
Time spent outside reduces stress, increases physical activity, and nourishes environmental stewardship. It may also support our natural symbiosis with microorganisms, which is good for our immune systems - especially the kids’. Aim for at least 30 minutes outside daily. Check out David Suzuki's 30x30 Challenge!
4. Go to bed
We all have different needs for sleep, but getting what our bodies need is important for stress management, immune system function, healthy body composition, mood and mental health. Try to have a consistent bed- and wake-time, create an optimal sleep environment (dark, comfortable, quiet), and keep screens out of the bedroom! Take a look at the recommendations from the National Sleep Foundation for your sweet spot!
5. Move your body
Nothing is more critical to good health than physical activity. From promoting healthy body composition, to encouraging detoxification and elimination, to improving cognitive function, it’s tough to do too much. Aim for 30-60 min of moderate to vigorous physical activity (get your heartrate up, break a sweat) every day, and increase from there. Check out the Canadian guidelines - how are you doing??
6. Detoxify your stuff
We are swimming in sea of over 80,000 industry-made chemicals, many of which are known to be harmful to our bodies, and many more which have not even been tested for safety. Children are particularly vulnerable to the effects of environmental toxins. Choosing alternatives to plastics (think food packaging and toys), fragranced personal-care items (visit www.ewg.org/skindeep/ for more), and industrial-strength cleaning products (vinegar and baking soda work miracles!), you’ll be giving your body an enormous break! Once again, Suzuki for the win!
7. Create space for mindfulness
In a world bombarded by social media, sensationalized news reports and high-paced schedules, a little bit of mindfulness goes a long way. Purposefully paying attention to the present experience has myriad benefits to all facets of health. Practice moving/eating/sitting/breathing mindfully every day until it becomes a more natural and automatic part of daily being. Kids respond really well to this - try youtubing “mindfulness”, with or without “kids” and see what pops up!
8. Touch someone
We all need physical contact. We take it for granted in infants and children, but our need for touch doesn’t decrease as we get older. Touch impacts our hormones and immune systems in important ways that are necessary for good health. Hold hands. Hug someone. Caress a shoulder. Go for a massage.
9. Have a sense of purpose
Purpose is one of the most important aspects of psychological well-being. Stress is more tolerable when we feel there is a point to the task. Feeling appreciated and like we are making a difference in the world actually bolsters the immune system and positively impacts mood. Caring for children, volunteering, contributing to your community, and engaging in fulfilling paid work can all satisfy the need for purpose. If you are lacking a sense of purpose, consider engaging in inventory of your values and attributes, and brainstorm how you are or could be sharing them with others.
10. Be grateful
Gratitude is one of the most impactful practices on happiness, stress management and well-being. Overwhelmed with the pressures of work? Be grateful you have a job that pays the bills. Tired of the cold winter? Be grateful you live in a country that is (generally) safe, democratic and … cold. Seek opportunities to be (genuinely) thankful to shift your outlook and increase happiness and health.
And a bonus ... Be moderate
It’s possible to go to extremes on either end of the healthy behaviour spectrum. Certainly there are some things that are just never a good idea, but some less-than-healthy behaviours are often balanced by the pleasure they bring. On the flip side, exercise, extreme diets and environmentalism can be taken too far. Unless there are unique concerns, enjoy a glass of wine or a piece of cake mindfully and intentionally - savour the pleasure of the experience. Creating space for some flexibility and compassion for yourself is important for a balanced existence.
Let me know how you're doing!
Here's a recent publication (written with a student) on when to worry about your child's fever, and what to do to help them get better ... better!
Next week I will be offering two workshops on the top 10 healthy habits for families. I have ideas about what I think are the most important behaviours to make routine, but I'm curious about others' experiences. Let me know - what behaviours are important to you, and what makes it difficult to make them habitual? I will work your responses into my workshop - where I hope you'll join me!
It’s that time of year! We’re supposed to feel in love, sexy, horny, romantic - right? Hallmark expectations aside, I hear from women in my practice ALL THE TIME that they’re not that into having sex. Their libido isn’t where they’d like it to be. They love their partners (and I find this happens more typically among women who are in committed, long-term relationships), they want to be intimate, but they’re just not feeling it. So here are some ideas to consider … just in time for Valentine’s Day!
(Sexual function is a complex topic; if you have concerns about yours, consider this article that I wrote about exploring and managing low sexual desire in women, and talk to your healthcare provider. Or me :)
Think of intimacy as a holistic concept.
When partners are vulnerable with one another in general - sharing their imperfections, their emotions, their experiences - and ACT with love, they are more likely to feel close to one another, enhancing relationship satisfaction, and naturally fueling a desire for physical connection. (I love this article about the research of John Gottman’s “Love Lab”). One of my most important life lessons is that love is an action, not a feeling … but I know that choosing to act with love can deepen the feeling … the trust and appreciation and deep connection that enhances sexual desire.
Broaden your definition of “sex”.
Particularly for heterosexual couples, “sex” often means “penis-in-vagina”. But there are so many ways to explore sex! And so many ways to give and receive sexual pleasure. When the need and expectation for orgasm is set aside, and space is created for mindfulness, “sex” can be many different things. “Guide to Getting it on” is a great primer. It is heteronormative, and it won’t make everyone happy (is that even possible??) AND there are many great books out there for folks of all orientations/kinks/persuasions. Explore! And comment with your favourites!
While familiarity is comfortable, and knowing and trusting your partner(s) builds intimacy, our brains seek novelty in order to stimulate reward centers. If sex is the same all the time, and predictable, it can get boring and less inticing. Consider talking to your partner about shaking things up a bit! There are many questionnaires available online that can facilitate the potentially awkward conversation and stimulate creativity - try this one! AND couples that engage in new experiences outside of the bedroom (or wherevever else you like to get it on - good for you!) are more likely to connect sexually as well. Try a dance class! Pottery (channeling Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore)! Eating in the dark! See what happens.
Make space for sexual intimacy.
As Dan Savage says, “Fuck first”. We often get busy, put other priorities ahead of our connection with our partner, and end up tired and sapped. Even if you're not exactly in the mood to begin with, being willing to dip in your toe can get the juices flowing. It could be argued that scheduling sex is contrived BUT imagine the turn-on when you sext one another all day in anticipation of what’s to come! Have sex before going for dinner, before catching up on Netflix, before your workout. Don’t succumb to not having time for … business time!
Be good to yourself!
Many conditions including (but definitely not limited to!) hypertension, diabetes, depression, and multiple sclerosis are associated with lower libido. Stress and fatigue can damage our desire. Eating well, exercising most days, getting sufficient sleep, managing stress effectively, and looking after any health concerns can make a big difference. Some medications can dampen libido - touch base with your healthcare provider to explore strategies to navigate this possibility.
And sometimes we just don’t feel like it. And that’s okay too. Especially mothers - we often feel touched out, particularly when our kids are small (and breastfeeding!). When we feel drained and needed, it can be overwhelming to know that our partners need us too. It may be okay to ask your partner to look after YOU … a foot rub, a back tickle, a head massage, more … without the expectation (today anyway) of reciprocity. It will pay long term dividends.
(Full disclosure: I am not a sex goddess, and am working through all of this myself. Just as I am doing with pretty much everything I recommend. As always, a work in progress.)